Let's Talk About Spaceships
by blackwidxw
Summary: "Thor, am I... sick?" Thor froze and held him tighter. He kissed his temple and nuzzled into him (Loki, that's my name, Loki). "Yes, you're sick." He sounded like he was crying. Hot, wet tears dripped onto his shoulder and Loki squirmed. "You're very sick, Loki." WARNING: mentions of severe mental illness, implied dementia, mentions of possible character death


**Notes:** Hey guys! So this is a little something I've been working on with my friends Kourtney and Liz (whom are absolutely amazing in every way), and I wanted to share it with you all.  
WARNING: This is a very, very, very sad oneshot (maybe multi-chapter) complete with fluff and lots of feels. I am not responsible for what feelings this may evoke :P  
And if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all! I only welcome nice comments and maybe some helpful advice. If I don't like your comment, *click* I'll just delete said that, enjoy the oneshot! If you guys want more, just say so :)

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The thunder rolled outside, booming and crashing and banging. Loki whimpered and burrowed under his bed covers even more. He was shaking violently.

"Loki," he heard a voice whisper. That was his name, wasn't it? A heavy hand stroked his back. "It's okay, brother. It's only thunder." The man sounded familiar, but he couldn't quite place who he was. All he knew was that he felt safe with him.

He gulped. "It's... loud."

"I know, baby. But it can't hurt you. I'll protect you."

(Thor, that was his name. And he was his big brother. How could he even forget that?)

"... Thor?" His brother hummed. "Is it okay if I hug you?"

He laughed. "Of course it's okay."

Loki carefully unwound the sheets around him and jumped at a clash of thunder. He leapt into Thor's awaiting arms and curled into his lap. He wrapped his arms around his waist, clutching him to his chest tightly. Loki squeezed his eyes shut. He still shook with fright.

The thunderstorm passed, but still it rained. Loki blinked and looked up at the blonde man cradling him. That's right, it was Thor. But why couldn't he remember the short guy with a goatee in a photo on his desk? Why couldn't he remember what the soft thing they were sitting on was called? (Why couldn't he remember his own name?)

"Thor..."

"Yes, baby?"

"Am I... sick?"

Thor froze and held him tighter. He kissed his temple and nuzzled into him (Loki, that's my name, Loki). "Yes, you're sick." He sounded like he was crying. Hot, wet tears dripped onto his shoulder and Loki squirmed. "You're very sick, Loki."

"And there is no cure?"

"Not yet, but they're trying. I promise. They're going as quick as they can."

Loki paused and played with the sheets (of the bed, it was called a bed) with slow, clumsy fingers. "Am I going to die, Thor?"

His big brother cried harder, and held him tighter. "I'm not going to let that happen. You're my baby brother. You're supposed to be with me forever. You're not supposed to be sick, you're supposed to be healthy and happy. I'm not going to let you die."

"Okay. I'm glad. I don't want to die." He took a deep breath. "We've had this conversation before, haven't we?"

Thor stroked his hair. "Many times, I'm afraid."

"I'm sorry I can't remember. And I'm sorry I can't remember you sometimes."

"You can't help it, baby. There's nothing to apologise for."

"I know that. But I remember you now though. You're my big brother Thor, your birthday is the 28th of December and you're four years older than me. We've always been close, even though I haven't always been the nicest. One time I dyed your hair blue by spiking the shampoo. Another time I cut off your ex-girlfriend's hair for dumping you, because you were really sad. I must have a thing for hair.

"When I was 14 you took me to my first concert. It was a rock concert, with flashing lights and loud music. I wish I could go to another concert with you, but I think I'd get frightened at how noisy they are. And I know you'd rather get ground seats than sit up in the stupid disabled seating with me because I don't know how to walk properly any more. I'm trying, though. It's just hard to learn things and remember how to do it.

"You've always been my most favourite person in the world. I've always loved you, even when I've said I hated you. When the doctors said I was sick, you started crying. It broke my heart to see you so upset and I wish I could have been more understanding. But I was scared too, and I didn't want anyone to see that. Because I thought I would beat it, you know? I was naïve.

"Even though I forget things a lot, and you have to teach me how to walk every morning, and you have to explain who you are sometimes, I'm glad you're here. And as selfish as it is, I don't want you to leave me because I know I'll be frightened without you.

"I must be having a lucid moment right now and that's why I'm thinking the most clearly for the first time in the 7 years I've been sick. And that's probably why I'm speaking English, not nonsense. At least I hope I am. So I just want to let you know before I don't remember where I am again, that I appreciate all you've done for me. You've been the best brother in the world and I know how hard it must be to look after me. I'm sorry I'm such a handful.

"Tell Tony, he's my best friend I remember that now, that I wish him all the happiness in the world in his marriage to Steve. I think he's a great guy. And tell him that I'm sorry if I ruin his wedding. I know that I can't control my impulses very well, and I'll probably shout something during the vows, but just let him know that I'm sorry and I love him. And make sure that he knows I'm thankful for the cane he bought me, because it really helps me stay mobile and that's important to me. I don't want to be a vegetable.

"I know that I don't remember mother and father any more and that saddens me. Just tell them that I love them and I'm grateful for all that they've done for me.

"But Thor—I think I'm running out of time now because I can't remember where we are any more—I love you and please don't give up on me. I'm doing my very best to fight this. It's hard, but I can try. Thank you. You're the best brother in the world. I may not remember you sometimes, but I'll never forget you."

Thor's heart had stopped beating when he heard his little brother talking so clearly and remembering so many things. He thought he'd not understood anything that had been happening to him. Well, he was proved wrong.

"I love you, Loki." He kissed his temple. "I love you. I wish I could tell you more but I'm afraid you'll forget. And I'm pretty sure you know everything already."

The brothers were silent, hugging each other tightly as the fog washed over Loki's mind once more and he could no longer remember.

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